Huandaolu Hash House Harriers

Drunken Hasher (Tune-Drunken Sailor)

Chorus: What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
After all the down-downs?

Verses:  There he goes again - pukin' in the bushes,
There he goes again - pukin' in the bushes,
There he goes again - pukin' in the bushes,
After all the down-downs.

Take away his whistle, send him on a BT,
He'll take a wizz behind the old oak tree,
Then he'll blow his nose on his old shirty,
After all the down-downs.

Then we'll shave his ass with a rusty razor,
Shave his crotch with a new-fangled laser,
Zap him in the ass with a copper's tazer,
After all the down-downs.
That's what we'll do with the drunken hasher,
That's what we'll do with the drunken hasher,
That's what we'll do with the drunken hasher,
After all the down-downs.

Our Lager

Our Lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
Lead us not into incarceration, but deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, the Bitter, and the Lager, 
Barmen.

My God How The Money Rolls In (Tune - My Bonnie)

Verse: My father makes book on the corner,
My mother makes illicit gin,
My sister sells kisses to sailors,
My God how the money rolls in.

Chorus: Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in, rolls in,
Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in.

Other Verses: My mother's a bawdy house keeper,
Each night when the evening grows dim,
She hangs out a little red lantern,
My God how the money rolls in.

My sister's a barmaid in Sydney,
For a shilling she'll strip to the skin.
She's stripping from morning to midnight,
My God how the money rolls in.

My brother's a slum missionary,
He saves fallen women from sin,
He'll save you a blonde for a dollar,
My God how the money rolls in.

I've lost all me cash on the horses,
I'm sick from the illicit gin.
I'm falling in love with me sister,
My God what a mess I am in.

Sing

Sing, sing a song, Sing out bawdy, Sing out strong,
Sing of good trails not bad, Sing of happy not sad.

Sing, sing a song, Make it simple, to last the whole hash long,
Don't worry that it's not clean enough for little ones' ears to hear,
Just sing, sing a song. (Just sing, sing a song.)

La, la, la, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, la, la

Sing, sing a song, Let the circle sing along,
Sing of sex there could be, Sing for you and for me

(Repeat second verse)

Bestiality's Great (Tune-Tie Me Kangaroo Down)

Chorus: Bestiality's great, mate, Bestiality's great (Fuck a wallaby!)
Bestiality's great, mate,  Bestiality's great.

Verses: Slip your slew to a ewe, Lou,  Slip your slew to a ewe (Bestiality!)
No one cares if you do, Lou,  So, slip your slew to a ewe.

Stick your lug in a slug, Doug,  Stick your lug in a slug (Bestiality!)
Put a grin on your mug, Doug,  And, stick your lug in a slug.

Have a fuck with a duck, Chuck,  Have a fuck with a duck (Bestiality!)
Some guys get all the luck, Chuck,  Go on, have a fuck with a duck.

Hit the clit of a gnat, Matt,  Hit the clit of a gnat (Bestiality!)
Isn't that just where it's at, Matt,  Hit the clit of a gnat.

Making love to a horse, Morse,  Making love to a horse (Bestiality!)
Sometimes you gotta use force, Morse, When making love to a horse.

Yesterday (The Beatles)

Yesterday, all my muscles seemed to feel OK.
Now my body doesn't work today.  Oh I went hashing yesterday.

Muscles ache, they'd be better if I'd stayed in bed,
Now it feels as if they're made of lead, Oh, I wish I'd stayed home instead.

Why I ran that hash, was so rash, but what the heck.
Now its clear I'm a mere physical wreck.

Bloodshot eyes, and my tongue is twice its normal size,
It’s at times like this I realize, Hashing isn't all that wise.

Why I drank that beer, isn't clear, it’s just a blur.
I don't feel so young, and my tongue is lined with fur.

Yesterday, running seemed a healthy game to play.
Now my body is in disarray. Oh I went hashing yesterday
(mmm-mm-mmm. . .)

Father Abraham

Father Abraham, had seven sons.  Seven sons had father Abraham.
And he never laughed and he never cried, all he did was go like this—
(Sing and move your hands, feet, butt, head, tongue etc)

The Engineer’s Dream

An engineer told me before he died, Ah-hum, ah-hum,
I have no reason to believe he lied. Ah-hum, ah-hum,
He had a wife with a pussy so wide,
That she could never be satisfied, Ah-hum, ah-hum, ah-hum, ah-hum

So he built a bloody great wheel. . .
Two balls of brass and a prick of steel. . .
The balls of brass he filled with cream.
And the big machine was driven by steam. . .

He tied her ankles to the bed. . .
He tied her wrists above her head. . .
There she lay demanding a fuck,
He shook her hand and wished her luck. . .

Round and round went the bloody great wheel. . .
In and out went the prick of steel. . .
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream. . .

Till at last the maiden cried. . .
"Enough, enough, I'm satisfied!" . . .
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it. . .

Round and round went the bloody great wheel. . .
In and out went the prick of steel. . .
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream. . .

She was split from ass to tit. . .
And the big machine was covered in shit. . .
The moral of this story is mighty clear,
Never fuck an engineer. . .

In Heaven

In heaven there is no beer,
That’s why we drink it here.
And when we’re gone from here,
Our friends will be drinking all our beer.

Hitler

Hitler has only got one ball
Goering’s are purple and small
Himmler’s are somewhat similar
And Goebbels got no balls at all

Yogi Bear Song

There is a bear in the deep dark woods, Yogi, Yogi,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods, Yogi, Yogi bear.
Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi has a little friend, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Yogi has a little friend, Boo-Boo Boo-Boo bear
Boo-Boo bear, Boo-Boo bear
Yogi has a little friend, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo bear

Boo-Boo likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Boo-boo likes it upside down, Koala koala bear.
Koala koala bear, koala koala bear
Boo-boo likes it upside down. Koala, koala bear.

(there are many, many more):
Boo-Boo has a girlfriend, Cyndi, Cyndi
Cyndi wears lingerie, Teddy, Teddy
Cyndi likes it on the ice, Polar, Polar
Cyndi gets what she deserves, Pregnant, Pregnant
Yogi has a girlfriend, Suzi, Suzi
Suzi likes it up the rear, Brown, Brown
Yogi’s stick is green and long, Cucum, Cucum,
Suzi’s snatch it smells like cheese, Camem, Camem
Suzi's boyfriend has no teeth, Gummi, Gummi
Song ender: Yogi he has HIV, Dying, Dying.

Dough, Ray, Me (Tune-Do, Re, Mi)

Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,  
Me, the guy who drinks the beer,
Far, a long way to my beer,
So, I’ll have another beer,
La, la, la, la, la, la beer,
Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer!

Doh! 啤酒，我买啤酒！
Ray 先生给我啤酒！
Me, 我一个人喝酒！
Far, 很远到我啤酒！
So, 我觉得我要酒！
La, 啦啦啦啦啦酒！
Tea? 不要只要啤酒！
我们回来到啤酒酒酒酒酒

My Bonnie

My bonnie lies over the ocean,  My bonnie lies over the sea.
My bonnie lies over the ocean,  Please bring back my bonnie to me.
Bring back, bring back,  Please bring back my bonnie to me, to me
Bring back oh bring back,  Please bring back my Bonnie to me

Zulu Warrior

A lay zoomba zoomba zoomba, a lay zoomba zoomba HEY!
A lay zoomba zoomba zoomba, a lay zoomba zoomba HEY!
Drink it down, you Zulu warrior,
Drink it down, you Zulu chief, chief,chief!

Soldier Song

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, country I will fight,
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.

Who Needs Sex (Tune-Three Blind Mice)

Who needs sex? Who needs sex?
It's no fun. It's no fun,
You chase after women and what do you get?
You grumble and fumble and break out in sweat,
You wake up at daylight just deeper in debt,
So who needs sex? Who needs sex?

Fourskin Song

My one skin hangs down to my two skin.        
My two skin hangs down to my three.
My three skin hangs down my fourskin.
My fourskin hangs down to my knee.   
Roll back, roll back, roll back my fourskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back, roll back my fourskin for me.   

Drinking Song (Tune-山人乐队《酒歌》)

阿表哥喝啤酒,  阿表妹喝啤酒
阿表哥你喜欢不喜欢也要喝
不喜欢也要喝, 不喜欢也要喝
管你喜欢不喜欢也要喝

Ā biǎo gē hē píjiǔ, ā biǎomèi hē píjiǔ
Ā biǎo gē nǐ xǐhuan bù xǐhuan yě yào hē
Bù xǐhuan (yě yào hē)
Bù xǐhuan (yě yào hē)
Guǎn nǐ xǐhuan bù xǐhuan yě yào hē

Shitty Trail (Tune-Mickey Mouse Clubhouse)

S -H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked!), Shitty trail (Really sucked!),
These dopey hares laid a shitty trail.

I would rather drink a beer than hash that shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L, Down, down, down, down

We’ve Got Virgins (Tune-Frere Jacques)

We've got virgins, we've got virgins,

At our hash, at our hash,

Gonna get'em drunked up, gonna get'em drunked up,

Down the hatch, down the hatch, So drink it down, down, down . . .

Slackers

Where, Oh where were you last month?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat lazy bastards, you weren't even here.
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.

Down, down, drink it all down
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer
You fat lazy bastards, you weren't even here.
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.  Down, down . . .

Hashers (Tune-The Flintstones)

Hashers, meet the hashers, they're the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Xiamen, they're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them, as they down a lot of beers,
Down down down down down down, Down down down down down down...

Front Running Bastards (Tune-Daydream Believer)

I could hash and drink beer, as the trail disappears,
At 6 o'clock this wanker stumbles in.
Down, down, down, down, down, down, down

Drink up Mutant Gene, oh what can it mean,
To a front running bastard, who’s a cross-dressing queen.
Down, down . . .

Dead Fucking Last

我在这 , 等着你过来
等着你过来, 你的大华彩
(重复一次)

哎哟哎哟, 你跑得那么慢
哎哟哎哟, 你跑得那么慢

Wǒ zài zhè, děng zhe nǐ guò lái
Děng zhe nǐ guò lái, Nǐ de dà huá cǎi
(repeat once)

Āi yō āi yō, Nǐ pǎo de nà me màn
Āi yō āi yō, Nǐ pǎo de nà me màn
Down, down . . .

Why Was S/he Born So Beautiful (Best Dressed Hasher)

Why was s/he born so pitiful?  Why was s/he born at all?
S/he's no fuckin' use to anyone, s/he's no fuckin' use at all.

S/he Ought To Be Publicly Pissed On (Worst Dressed Hasher)
(Tune-My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)

S/he ought to be publicly pissed on, S/he ought, to be publicly shot,
S/he ought to be tied to a urinal, and left there to fester and rot.

Birthdays (Tune-The Volga Boatmen)

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>
Death, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere
Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>
Children dying far and near 
They say that cancer's caused by beer
So, Hashy birthday, fuck you, Hashy birthday, fuck you,
Hashy birthday, you asshole, Hashy birthday, fuck you

Amazing Hash (Tune-Amazing Grace) Milestones

Amazing Hash, how sweet the trail
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
The On-In now I see!

Just two more blobs and I'll be in
There waits the beer for me
And when I'm there, I'll drink my share
Till they get rid of me!

S/He’s The Meanest

S/He's the meanest, s/he sucks the horse's penis
S/He's the meanest, s/he's the horse's ass.
Ever since s/he found it, all s/he does is pound it
S/He's the meanest, s/he's the horse's ass.
So drink! Chug a Lug, Chug a Lug, Chug a lug

Why Are We Waiting? (Tune-Oh Come All Ye Faithful)

Why are we waiting, Could be masturbating,
Oh, why are we wa-ai-ting, So fuck-ing long.
Why are we wait-ing, Could be fornicating,
Oh, why-y are we wa-ai-ting? So fuck-ing long

Here’s To Brother/Sister …

Here’s to brother (Hasher’s name), brother (name), brother (name).
Here’s to brother (name), who’s with us today.
S/he eats it, s/he beats it.  Good god s/he mistreats it.
Here’s to brother (name), who’s with us today.
So drink motherf***er , drink motherf***r, drink motherf***er. . .

Hash Hymn

Himmmmm
Himmmmm
Fuuuck himmmm

What A Wank

What a wank, what a wank,
What a wank wank wank
[repeat]

Harriette Song (Tune-Turkey in the Straw)

Well the wiggle of her ass
Would make a dead man cum,
And the nipples on her tits
Are the size of my thumb.
She's a mean motherfucker;
She's a great cock-sucker;
She'a a har-ri-ette!

Hasher Song( Tune-Turkey in the Straw)

Well the dimples in his cheeks
Would make a butt chug fun,
As the turds from his ass
Roll off of your tongue.
He's a gay motherfucker.
He's a great cock-sucker;
He's a harrier!

Whinger’s Song (Tune-Careless Whisper)

So you’re never gonna walk again
Useless feet, you’ve got no vision
Though it’s easy to ascend, it’s just another hill.
You should have known better than to whinge again.
The wasted words that you’ve been giving
So you’re never gonna walk again.
Just stop your crying boo hoo hooooooooooooo.

Pisspot Song

Here’s to (Hasher’s name), s/he’s true blue.
S/he’s a Hasher through and through.
S/he’s a pisspot so they say,
S/he’ll never go to heaven in a long long way

Does A Hasher? (Tune-Do Your Ears Hang Low?)

Does a hasher like to walk, does a hasher like to run.
Does a hasher like to be where they're having all the fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer, while his friends all sing and cheer?
Now your time has come.  So drink it down, down. . .

This Is A Hashing Song

This is your hashing song,
It isn't very long
Drink it down, down, down. . .

International Hash Hymn

Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.

I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Coming for to carry me home?
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.

(Humming 1x)

(Silence 1x)

And if you get there before I do,
Coming for to carry me home
Tell my friends that I’m coming too,
Coming for to carry me,
Coming for to carry me,
Coming for to carry me home.